(Let’s just say that some of us here in the Lair of Silliness have worked at Renaissance Faires, so this is particularly amusing to us. Also…is it just us or would this festival have to me in Los Angeles? Thanks to whomever it was that sent this to our inbox. Sorry. We lost your name. Enjoy!)

Top 15 Signs of a Bad Renaissance Festival

15) The castle and village are made entirely of legos.

14) Turkey leg bears striking resemblance to Cocker Spaniel leg.

13) Festival activities include “Ye Olde Wet T-Shirt Contest.”

12) Eight minute drum solo in the middle of “Greensleeves.”

11) “Belly up to the bar, me lad, for some grilled mahi-mahi and fresh California roll!”

10) Ye Old Glassblower makes nothing but crack pipes.

9) The meade is served in a coconut shell with a Fizzy straw.

Everyone seems to have attended the Kevin Costner School of British Accents.

7) Mosh pit follows the wandering minstrels.

6) Guillotine exhibit closed due to pending litigation.

5) Friar Tuck’s pager keeps going off.

4) The Disgusting Ogre is merely an unshaved Marlon Brando.

3) “Tarry, wench, I prithee! Wouldst thou Macarena?”

2) Merlin the Magician’s only trick is “Got your nose!”

and the Number 1 Sign You’re at a Bad Renaissance Festival…

1) Jousting Crips & Bloods.