Inbox: The Consultant
May 1st, 2007 by calliope
(This one was sent to our inbox my our friend Matt, and we would like to thank him for this bit of silliness. Nope, we don’t write ‘em we just post ‘em for you to enjoy.)
The Consultant
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the edge of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee screeched to a halt next to him. The driver was a young man dressed in an Armani suit, Celine shoes and a Hermes tie. He gets out of the Jeep and asks the shepherd, “If I guess how many sheep you have will you give one of them to me?”
The shepherd thinks about it and finally says, “OK.”
The young man parks the car:
* connects his notebook, and mobile,
* enters a NASA site,
* scans the ground using his GPS
* opens a data base and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms
* prints a 150 page report on his high tech mini printer.
He then turns to the shepherd and says, “You have exactly 1,586 sheep.”
The shepherd answers, “That is correct. You can have your sheep.”
The young man takes one and puts it in the back of the Jeep. The shepherd looks at him and says, “If I guess your profession, will you return the sheep to me.?”
The young man answers, “Yes why not!”
The shepherd says, “You are an IBM consultant.”
“How did you know that ?” the young man asks.
“Very simple.” answers the shepherd. “First you come here without being called. Second you charge me to tell me something I know already. Third, you do not understand anything about what I do because you took my dog!!”