As some of you may recall, William Shatner is well know for his…er…takes on popular songs. This time he turns his genius towards political speeches. …And it’s frickin’ awesome! Mr. Shatner (and Mr. O’Brien, whose idea it was) you are both made of win.

This is the video for [tag]The Picard Song[/tag]. It’s difficult to describe, but it *does* contain some footage of Jean Luc dancing.

So…there you are. Enjoy!

No, he’s not on the show, but that would be brilliant, wouldn’t it? In this fabulous comedy bit, [tag]Eddie Izzard[/tag] discusses [tag]Star Trek[/tag]. It would seem that he’s seen the original show before, and he has a few amusing insights to share.

In [tag]Free Enterprise[/tag], which is a really fun film, [tag]William Shatner[/tag]…raps. He raps a speech from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar.

Enjoy [tag]No Tears For Caesar[/tag]. Cry havoc!

How can we even begin to describe this bit of 60s camp? Well…it’s the video for [tag]Leonard Nimoy[/tag] singing the [tag]Ballad of Bilbo Baggins[/tag].

Um…enjoy!

Have you ever wondered how life would change if we had Klingons working alongside us? You’d be really careful that you had ten items or less in that check out line, wouldn’t you?

Top 12 things likely to be overheard if there was a [tag]Klingon[/tag] [tag]Programmer[/tag] on the staff

12) “Specifications are for the weak and timid!”

11) “This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!”

10) “You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you’ve read it in the original Klingon.”

9) “Indentation?! – I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!”

“What is this talk of ‘release?’ Klingons do not make software ‘releases.’ Our software ‘escapes,’ leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.”

7) “Klingon function calls do not have ‘parameters’ – they have ‘arguments’ — and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.”

6) “Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.”

5) “I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.”

4) “A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!”

3) “By filing this PTR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!”

2) “You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!”

And, the No. 1 thing most likely to be heard if Klingons were programmers:

1) “Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!”

The Dear Abbys and Ann Landers of the world have their place in society…but wouldn’t you rather [tag]Ask a Klingon[/tag]?

At least you’ll have fun trying to translate the answer…

(This is a parody of Baz Lurhman’s “Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen” that has been circling the Internet for years. Gotta love the [tag]Star Trek[/tag] version…)

[tag]Everybody’s Free (To Wear Phasers)[/tag]

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 2008: Wear phasers.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, phasers would be it. The long term benefits of phasers have been probed by federation scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering voyages. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your ship. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your ship until it’s
vaporized above the genesis planet. But believe me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of your ship and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you looked in the big chair.

You are not as infallible as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the transporter. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to penetrate the galactic barrier by sipping saurian brandy. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blind side you at stardate 4524.76 in some idle quadrant.

Do one thing every day that scares your crew.

Seek out strange new civilizations.

Don’t be reckless with your security officers. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with theirs.

Boldly go where no man has gone before.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only
with the Klingons.

Remember the prime directive. Forget the regulations. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old starcharts. Throw away your M5.

Time travel.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what to do with your career. The most Interesting officers I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do in starfleet. Some of the most interesting captains I know still don’t know.

Get plenty of Dilythium. Be kind to your warp engines. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll be admiral by 40; maybe you’ll dance with Orion slavegirls on your ship’s 75th anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half logic. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what sexstarved alien women think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance naked, even if you have nowhere to do it but in your ready room.

Read the regs, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read tech manuals. They will only make you feel stupid.

Get to know your crew. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your ship’s computer. It’s your best link to your past and will help you automate the ship when the crew’s reduced to salt crystals.

Understand that officers come and go, but a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in stellar geography and alien lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the officers who knew you when you were young.

Live in the Klingon Empire once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live on Bajor once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Cross the neutral zone.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Starfleet will quote policy. Captains will philander. You, too, will get old. And then you too will fantasize that when you were young, Starfleet was reasonable, Captains were noble, and officers respected the prime directive. Respect the prime directive.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a fully charged phaser bank. Maybe you have a commodore on board. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look like 85.

Be careful whose refit you buy, but be patient with those who Captain it.

A shakedown cruise is a form of nostalgia. Refitting your ship is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more that it’s worth.

But trust me on the phasers.

Imagine if you will that the cast of [tag]Frasier[/tag] got parts on [tag]Star Trek: Voyager[/tag]. Got the image in you head? Now watch the video and enjoy.

So, ever wonder what might have happened if the original [tag]Star Trek[/tag] had had another season? Wonder no more! Try the [tag]Star Trek:TOS Plot Generator[/tag] and see all of the possible plot paths that could have happened, and some that did in the series as aired. If you watched the show, you should have no problem recognizing what they’re talking about.