A kind soul from the People’s Republic of East Davis has made us aware of a very important advancement in silly food science. The folks at [tag]Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories[/tag] have devised a method to make [tag]Edible Googly Eyes[/tag]! Just think of the applications.

If you wish to get started right away, the Mad Scientists have included the recipe for [tag]Flying Spaghetti Monster Treats[/tag]. (It’s about halfway down the page, so get scrolling.)

(This arrived in our inbox a while back. We feel that these rules will never stop being true. Enjoy!)

The Rules of Chocolate

* If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

* Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

* The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

* Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

* A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

* If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.

* But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

* If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

* If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

* Money talks. Chocolate sings.

* Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

* Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

* If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

* Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.

Have you ever wondered how those pricey restaurants come up with their High Class menus? Our guess is that they use the [tag]Froo Froo Menu Generator[/tag].

(A Huge Hat Tip to Mike for telling us about this site.)

You know you love [tag]food[/tag]. We all have our favorites. Do you love food enough to write it a [tag]love letter[/tag]? Well, someone out there does.

(This one is a classic. It arrived in our inbox some time ago, but we felt that it was *so* silly that we had to share it with you. We’ve dusted it off, and now we offer it to you in all of its silly glory. Enjoy!)

Han Solo vs. Cheese

Cheese smells great. Han Solo doesn’t, especially after crawling through a garbage pit.

Edge: Cheese.

—–

Cheese can still be used after being mashed flat. Han Solo cannot.

Edge: Cheese.

—–

Han Solo can shoot stormtroopers. Cheese can be consumed by stormtroopers.

Edge: Han Solo.

—–

Han Solo doesn’t always do everything you expect of him. Cheese fulfills all its expected purposes.

Edge: Cheese.

—–

Cheese would go bad if you leave it out in the sun for a week. So would Han Solo.

Edge: Tie!

—–

Han Solo is hated by Jabba. So is cheese, as Jabba prefers to eat wriggling, squiggling things.

Edge: Tie!

—–

Han Solo’s best friend is a Jedi Master. Cheese has no friend.

Edge: Han Solo.

—–

People would watch Han Solo on TV. No one but art house people would watch cheese on TV.

Edge: Han Solo.

—–

Cheese can be used as a euphemism for farts. Saying, “Who cut the Han Solo?” doesn’t cut it.

Edge: Cheese.

—–

Cheese edges out Han Solo by one point. Don’t tell Chewie!