He used to be an Imperial [tag]Dalek[/tag], but then Davros took over and things had to change.

This is a most amusing parody. Enjoy the Dalek [tag]Apple Ad[/tag]. (It doesn’t really have much to do with Apple…but it does have a Dalek in it.)

(A hat tip to Thomas for sending this bit of silliness our way. The folks in the Silliness Lair would like to make it known that they are not addicted to the Net. It was just that they heard the new e-mail notification on the way back to bed. And chicks dig the tattoo. Enjoy!)

TOP 10 SIGNS YOU’RE ADDICTED TO THE NET

10. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
9. You get a tattoo that reads “This body best viewed with Mozilla Firefox 2.0 or higher.”
8. You name your children Lynx, Mozilla and Dotcom.
7. You turn off your computer and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
6. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap…and your child in the overhead compartment.
5. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
4. You laugh at people with dial-up connections.
3. You start using smileys in your snail mail.
2. The last girl you picked up was a JPEG.
1. Your hard drive crashes. You haven’t logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP’s access number.You try to hum to communicate with the modem….. you succeed.

The folks over at [tag]College Humor.com[/tag] offer you a film which is their image of what a meeting would look like if it were full of online commenters. As such, it does contain some adult themes and a [tag]LOLCat[/tag]. Just so you’re warned. Enjoy!

In these days of dealing with [tag]Vista[/tag] upgrades, why not upgrade to [tag]MS-DOS 5[/tag] instead? (A Hat Tip to Scotis_Man for letting us know bout this.)

(A Hat Tip to Erik for sending this to our inbox. Nerds of the World, have hope!)

Jock or nerd?

Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?

Michael Jordan, having ‘retired’ with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.

If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.

If he goes to see a movie, it’ll cost him $7.00, but he’ll make $18,550 while he’s there.

If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he’ll make $618 while boiling it

He makes $7,415/hour more than minimum wage.

If he wanted to save up for a new Acra NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.

If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.

He’ll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.

He’ll make about $19.60 while watching the 100-meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the race.

This year, he’ll make more than twice as much as all past presidents for all of their terms combined.

Amazing isn’t it?

However…

If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 500 years, he’ll still have less than Bill Gates has at this very moment.

Game over.

Nerd wins.

(We’ve seen this set of [tag]haiku[/tag], and others like it, a few times before, but we’ve never posted it. A hat tip to Michele for perfect timing. We hope that these haikus will bring you peace in a world of [tag]computer[/tag] evilness.)

[tag]Computer Haiku[/tag]:

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek
Can not be located but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Aborted effort:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
“My Novel” not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao until
You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you’re seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

We’re guessing that you didn’t know about your name being a cyborg acronym. Why not try the [tag]Cyborg Name Decoder[/tag] and see what kind of roboform you really are! (You can even choose an avatar to go with your newly decoded name.)

(We’ve seen this one before, but it’s still funny. A hat tip to Michele for sending it to our inbox this time around. Enjoy!)

[tag]Dr. Seuss[/tag] Explains Why [tag]Computers[/tag] Sometimes Crash

((((Read this to yourself aloud–It’s Great!))))
————————————————————

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash; and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn’t hash, then your situation’s hopeless and your system’s gonna crash!

*
If the label on the cable on the table at your house says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, ‘cuz sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang!

*

When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy in the disk and the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk, then you’ll have to flash the memory and you’ll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!

No, not me. There is this interactive website, which used to be called “Drive Paul Mathis Insane,” but is now merely [tag]Drive Me Insane[/tag]. Yes, there are folks who will let you run up their electric bill and watch it happen. Go drive them insane, already.

So, there’s this [tag]web server[/tag] that is mighty depressed about not being able to pull up your page. Check it out. It’s sort of like Marvin the Paranoid Android, only less long-winded. Thanks for the silliness [tag]E.T.S.V. Scintilla[/tag].