Simon’s Cat strikes again!

Here we see two cute cats…talking.

[tag]Cats[/tag]: The Original Meow:

Wonder what they’re saying?

[tag]Cats: In Translation[/tag]:

Behold! It is Hugo, that cat with many disguises and fabulous theme music! (We’ll bet that you can guess our favorite part.)

Sorry…we’re laughing too hard to be coherent. Enjoy [tag]An Engineer’s Guide to Cats[/tag]

Who will win, the [tag]cat[/tag] or the [tag]printer[/tag]? Will the humans in the house ever be able to use the printer again? Who knows.

(In honour of National Poetry Month, we offer you another round of Cat Haiku. These certainly seem to contain some keen insights. What do you mean your cat is in the way of the screen?)

[tag]Cat Haiku[/tag]

You never feed me.
Perhaps I’ll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
Elevator butt.

I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! good dog! good dog!

The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit hairball somewhere
Will find in morning

Grace personified,
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then –
Silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds –
Your foot just squashed one

You’re always typing.
Well, let’s see you ignore my
Sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What’s a ‘term paper’?

Kitty likes plastic
Confuses for litter box
Don’t leave tarp around

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner

Want to trim my claws?
Don’t even think about it!
My yelps will wake dead.

I want to be close
To you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, shit! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams!
My claws aren’t that sharp …

Cats meow out of angst
“Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!”

Litter box not here
You must have moved it again
I’ll crap in the sink.

The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
Time for “Cup Hockey”

We’re almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt?

Today we have a couple bits of [tag]Cat Humour[/tag] for you.

Have you ever considered mapping the brain of a cat?

An experiment in surfaces that cats prefer to sit on from [tag]Stuff on My Cat[/tag].

(This is a classic of cat humour. We certainly hope that your cats aren’t up to anything of the sort…but you may wish to keep an eye on them for a bit. Friendly warning.)

The Top 16 Signs Your Cat May Be Planning to Kill You

16. Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.
15. Unexplained calls to F.Lee Bailey’s 900 number on your bill.
14. He actually *does* have your tongue.
13. You find a stash of “Feline of Fortune” magazines behind the couch.
12. Cyanide paw prints all over the house.
11. You wake up to find a bird’s head in your bed.
10. As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in downtown Dallas, you get a faint whiff of catnip.
9. Droppings in litter box spell out “REDRUM.”
8. Catch him with a new Mohawk looking in the mirror saying, “Mew looking at me? Mew looking at me?”
7. Takes attentive notes every time “Itchy and Scratchy” are on.
6. You find blueprints for a Rube Goldberg device that starts with a mouse chased into a hole and ends with flaming oil dumped on your bed.
5. Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.
4. Instead of dead mice, leaves cartons of Marlboros on your doorstep.
3. Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman’s noose.
2. You find a piece of paper labeled “MY WIL” which says: “LEEV AWL 2 KAT.”

And the Number 1 Sign Your Cat May Be Planning to Kill You …

1. Now sharpens claws on your car’s brake lines.

What do you get when you combine Led Zeppelin with some flash animation of marauding kittens?

Apparently you get Viking Kittens!

Who knew?

With thanks to JM for letting us know about this video, here is [tag]Simon’s Cat[/tag] in “[tag]Let Me In[/tag].” Do you remember the cat who insisted that the poor guy wake up and feed him?

Same cat. Enjoy! (meow)