Simon’s Cat - TV Dinner
Simon’s Cat strikes again!
Add comment July 21st, 2008
Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog
Act One of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog is already available here. After viewing this preview, you’ll probably want to pop by and see it for yourself.
Trust us on this.
Teaser from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog on Vimeo.
Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog
Add comment July 16th, 2008
No Cookies in the Library
No cookies in the library. Books about cookies, yes.
Add comment July 15th, 2008
What the Cats are Really Saying
Here we see two cute cats…talking.
Cats: The Original Meow:
Wonder what they’re saying?
Cats: In Translation:
Add comment July 14th, 2008
Silly Facts
Although these facts have not been verified, they are still funny. Unfortunately, the identity of the kind soul who sent them our way has been lost. So, thank you…whoever you were.
Stuff You Really Should Know
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.”
“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.
Almonds are members of the peach family.
The symbol on the “pound” key (#) is called an octothorpe.
The dot over the letter ‘i’ is called a tittle.
Ingrown toenails are hereditary.
The word “set” has more definitions than any other word in the English language.
“Underground” is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters “und.”
The longest place-name still in use is for a hill in New Zealand: Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwenuakitnatahu
Alfred Hitchcock didn’t have a belly button. It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery.
Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays.
Donald Duck’s middle name is Fauntleroy.
The muzzle of a lion is like a fingerprint - no two lions have the same pattern of whiskers.
There is a seven-letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters, “therein”: the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, herein.
John Larroquette of “Night Court” and “The John Larroquette Show”, was the narrator of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.
The letters KGB stand for Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti.
To “testify” was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order, as does arsenious, meaning “containing arsenic.”
Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian seal for that reason.
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
Add comment July 9th, 2008
Hallelujah Chorus with Nuns
With thanks to Dianne for sending this to us, here is the most amusing version of the Hallelujah Chorus that we have ever seen.
Enjoy!
Add comment July 2nd, 2008
Conceived in Ignorance
(This is another of those e-mails that circle the internet. Someone sent it to us a while back and we’re finally getting around to sharing it with you all. We hope that you never have to come up with answers to this sort of question.)
Conceived in Ignorance
The following are all replies that have been included on British Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father’s details.
“Regarding the identity of the father of my twins child A was fathered by [name removed]. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.
I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party [address and date given] where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.
I don’t know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he’s had it replaced.
I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from Pope confirming that my son’s conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.
I cannot tell you the name of child A’s dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by my country please advise.
I do not know who the father of my child was as all squadies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.
[name given] is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?
From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.
So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a programme about eggs earlier in the evening. If I’d have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at[address given] mine might have remained unfertilised.
Add comment June 27th, 2008
Not in the OED
Well…these aren’t in the Oxford English Dictionary…
The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of the winning entries:
Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
3 comments June 19th, 2008
Dancing With the Star Wars Stars 2008
Like the 2007 version, but with 80s songs instead. Wait for the Darth Vader bit. It’s fab.
Add comment June 17th, 2008
A collection of one liners
(Here’s another classic bit of silliness that made its way to our inbox. The jokes run the gamut from puns to offensive. Enjoy!)
A collection of one liners
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A stick.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho Cheese.
What do you call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.
Where do you get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.
Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They’re trying to get away from the noise.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
What is a zebra?
An undergarment that’s 26 sizes larger than an “A” bra.
What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
A dog that runs for help … after it bites your leg off.
Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the hell out of the dog.
What does it mean when the flag is at half-mast at the Post Office?
They’re hiring.
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.
Why do a pilgrim’s pants always fall down?
Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat.
What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, WHACK! “Damn.” A bad skydiver goes, “Damn.” WHACK!
What’s black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A Doberman.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it!
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way.
What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop clop clop?
An Amish drive-by shooting!
How are a Texas tornado and a Texas divorce the same?
Somebody’s gonna lose a trailer.
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope!
2 comments June 17th, 2008
